My Aging Parents

Three Things with Jennifer Pickett.

What do adult children find out about helping older parents move that they wish they knew earlier? 

That’s the question I asked Jennifer Picket, co-executive director of the National Association of Senior & Specialty Move Managers.

Here, in her own words, are three things Jennifer wants you to know:

1. Start sooner than later.

Helping a parent get ready to move to a new living space — whether it’s a condo in another state or a nearby senior community — is a major change. 

Even when Mom knows that a move needs to happen, that change is frightening for her. It feels overwhelming. And that kind of stress can trigger serious health problems.

When you’re moving an older parent, stress is the devil. Especially if Mom is showing signs of memory loss, or Dad has a chronic illness. A stressful move can send an older adult into a downward spiral. 

The move itself is the easy part. The hard part is the emotional and physical work that needs to happen first: helping Mom sort through a lifetime of things and memories and deciding what to take and what to do about all the rest of it.

Your goal is to make Mom’s move as safe, positive, and stress-free as possible. So, the more time you have to plan and prepare, the better. Don’t wait until planning isn’t an option or your parent can’t be involved in that decision. 

Helping an older parent move is a process. It takes time to do it right, and it always takes more time that you think.

2. Moving a parent is a major transition for you, too.

Don’t underestimate how much your parent’s move will take out of you. And not just because you’re in shock over how much stuff your folks held onto.

Helping Mom move stacks another major life cycle event on top of all your other major responsibilities. It’s a big responsibility, even if you have siblings who are willing and able to pitch in.

Moving a parent is a major transition for you and your entire family. Especially if Mom or Dad is moving from the home where you grew up, where you made memories, and where you still have artifacts from your life in the attic, basement, and spare bedroom.

Dealing with siblings — no matter how much you love each other — can also be stressful. 

I only have one younger sister. But when Mom died and we were moving Dad, I can’t tell you how long it took us to go through the Christmas ornaments. And I’m still upset she got Mom’s slotted spoon.

Moving your parent is emotional because it’s about so much more than moving someone’s stuff. For example, if Mom has to move because of cognitive issues, you’re also grieving as you learn to accept the new normal. And that can be very, very difficult.

3. Don’t try to do this all by yourself.

There is an overwhelming amount of information you have to process when you’re helping a parent move. There’s a lot you don’t know and even more that you don’t know you don’t know.

Don’t try to do this all by yourself. Senior Move Managers can help with every stage of the process, from planning and preparation through the move itself. We can do it all or just the parts you want help with; whatever is right for your parent and your situation.

Just because you hire a move manager doesn’t mean anyone has to move. Many clients work with us to help declutter and start rightsizing so it’s possible for Mom and Dad to age in place safely.

Again, that emotional and physical work is the heavy lifting. Working with a caring, independent expert who knows how to help everyone move forward can really lighten your load.

For More:

• ​​​National Association of Senior & Specialty Move Managers. NASMM is a nationwide network of professionals who help older adults and families rightsize to age in place or plan and manage a move. Find a Senior Move Manger.

Thanks for caring,